Being Helena

Building Self-Confidence Through Meditation

Helena — Tue, 15 May 2012 01:07:26 +0000

Building self-confidence takes a variety of tools, so that when you’re working on it you address both the inner and outer parts of yourself. One tool that often gets overlooked is meditation. Because of the tendency to see meditation as a spiritual tool, or even just as a stress reliever it’s value in boosting self-confidence often goes unnoticed.

Let’s change that thought right now. The truth is that meditation can be used to strengthen any emotion or skill.

When you meditate, you bring a great amount of awareness into your mind. In the moment of meditation you hold the power to decide exactly what your life is all about. The past and the future melt away, and all that’s left is you. So when you actively decide to boost your confidence, you will!

Three Steps To Bringing Confidence Into Your Awareness

1. Bring Past Feelings Into The Present

The first thing you should do is recognize what confidence feels like to you. Take a moment to recall different times in your life that you felt especially confident. How exactly did you feel?

For example, maybe you remember a time when you entered a sports competition. You trained hard and you believed in yourself. How did you feel when you were standing on the start line?

Now, imagine that you now have to lead a group of people at work. You’re feeling a little scared about it because all of the details are not falling into place as you’d like. Meditate on the feelings of confidence.

Bring the positive emotions from past successes into your present and approach your problem with those positive feelings instead.

2. Visualize Your Future

In order to strengthen your meditation skills to encourage greater confidence, it may help to picture future circumstances turning out in your favor. When you sit down to meditate, be very detailed in your visions. Use the confident feelings you know you have and place them into the situations you’re envisioning.

This is a good activity to try if you feel that negative emotions are overtaking you. However, for the most part you should be concentrating on the present moment and taking life one breath at a time.

3. Stay In The Moment

Sometimes when you’re overwhelmed with problems you will feel negative emotions, instead of the confidence you need to overcome challenges. This is when it’s especially important to stay in the now.

When you meditate on each breath and focus on the present moment, you’ll realize how very simple life is among the complexity. You’ll be able to calm down. With a calm head you can then reach for the confidence you seek.

Meditation Basics to Remember

·   Find a place where you can be alone with your thoughts.
·   Sit in an upright position with good posture.
·   Fight the urge to take a nap or go to bed.
·   Take deep inhales and long exhales.
·   Pause in between breaths.
·   Repeat a mantra or affirmation to yourself as you breathe in and out. An example of something simple to repeat to yourself is “I am confident”.

Meditate Often

Meditation is an art that takes practice. Just like anything else, when you practice often you’ll get better at it. You should use the art of meditation for more than just an emergency confidence booster.

Plan to make meditation a part of your every day routine!

The more you practice, the easier it will be for you to reach your meditative state. You will also find that the more you meditate, the more you will see which forms of meditation work best for you. Understanding and confidence will become part of your life and you’ll feel a greater power within.

It’s easy to talk and read about meditation, but it’s quite another experience to do it.

In theory it sounds like such an easy and delightful practice. The truth is that you’re likely to get bored at first and you’ll probably make excuses about whether or not you really have the time for it. Strive to remain disciplined and keep up with your practice. When you do, you’ll experience a true inner peace and confidence like never before.

Photo Credit: © Christophe Baudot | Dreamstime.com

Self-Confidence and Success: Four Ways To Build Them Both

Helena — Thu, 10 May 2012 03:11:20 +0000

When you’re trying to reach your goals, the most important element that determines whether you succeed or fail is your self-confidence.

Every worthwhile goal features hurdles and challenges along the way. Self-confidence is the tool that keeps you going in the right direction when the challenges come. Self-assurance helps you climb the mountains and jump the hurdles that stand in the way of the success you deserve.

Here are a few tips you can use to boost your self-confidence while you’re working on your goals:

1. Write things down. I’m a big fan of journaling and writing everything down. You can start by keeping a record of ALL your successes, large and small. You may not think that small successes are worth noting, but you may find when you need a confidence boost, that it was that one little thing you thought you couldn’t do that got you to the next step in your journey.

In the beginning, remember your successes of the past and write those down too. Whenever you begin to doubt yourself, look at your notebook and remind yourself of the times you’ve succeeded in the past.

2. Small goals count. You don’t have to change the world to be successful. In fact, setting really large goals to start with can overwhelm you and cause you give up. If you have trouble recalling your successes or noticing your strengths, set a few small goals that are fairly easy to attain. The point is to achieve success and to allow that success to fuel you for greater challenges and greater victories in your life.

When you achieve the small goals you’ve set for yourself, write them down in your notebook. As your confidence grows, your heart will long to shoot for bigger goals and greater challenges. You’ll be building momentum as you build your confidence, and your record of success will keep you pushing forward when doubts begin to creep in.

3. Act as if you’re already successful. A funny thing happens when you pretend you feel a certain emotion… you actually began to feel that emotion!

Try this little exercise right now:

First, slouch your shoulders, lean forward, and put a frown on as if you’re absolutely exhausted. How do you feel? A little tired?

Now smile and begin to move your body like you do when you’re excited. Feel the difference? To a large extent, you can control how you feel by the way you move your body.

Pretend you’re confident. Talk with confidence and move your body with confidence. The feelings will follow shortly.

Extra Tip: If you don’t think you can do this when you’re out in public, practice in front of a mirror at home first.

4. Practice Visualizing your future. Where do you see yourself in five years? Ten years? What kind of job do you have? Do you own your own business? What is your ideal scenario regarding relationships? How much money do you make? How healthy and fit are you?

Every day, close your eyes and take a few moments to run a mental movie about the future you’ve always dreamed about. Watch your success play out as if it’s happening in the present and allow yourself to experience all of the senses. What does the scene look like? Smell like? Taste like? Feel like? Sound like?

Make your mental movie as vivid and detailed as possible for maximum effect. If you do this every day, your mind will begin to move you in the direction of your ideal future. You’ll begin to take actions that support your success and lead you down the path of your dreams.

Extra Tip: Don’t stress if you have trouble seeing five years out. Just start a little closer to the present. What will your tomorrow look like? Next week? Next month?

Your confidence will grow naturally with each obstacle you overcome and each success you experience. It doesn’t matter whether the success is in the real world or in your mind. Instead of constantly reliving the mistakes you’ve made in the past, let them go and instead relive the glorious future you deserve time and time again to build your confidence and coach yourself to success.

Let Go of the Past for a Confident Future

Helena — Tue, 08 May 2012 03:48:21 +0000

Let me be blunt for a moment…

One of the biggest reasons for low self-confidence and low self-esteem is getting stuck in the past.

Deep down you know that there is simply nothing you can do to change the past. No matter how many times you wish you’d done something differently, the past will always remain the past.

You must find a way to, once and for all, be done with your regretful feelings. When you continue to fret over the past, you allow negative feelings to consume more and more of your life, and more and more of your confidence. Once you’ve put a stop to it, you can think positively again and start moving forward.

Getting Stuck In The Past

It’s easy to get caught up in the past. It’s like this web of memories and that pulls you in and once you start thinking about it all the emotions that surround those events works to keep you there.

No-one is perfect and, no matter how hard you try, you’ll still continue to make mistakes. It’s how you handle the mistakes that will make the true difference in your life.

If you’ve made a mistake or suffered a tragedy in the recent past, don’t allow it to replay in your head over and over. You’ll continue to relive the negative feelings as if you were continually going through it. If you’re a follower of the Law of Attraction, you know that what you focus on expands, and you really don’t need to be expanding negative feelings and energy when you’re trying to rebuild your self-confidence.

No one deserves this! Instead, you have two choices, you can actively work on correcting your mistake, or you can let the feelings go because they’re not helpful to you in that moment.

Learn Your Lessons and Let Go of the Rest

There are lessons to be learned in every mistake you make no matter how minor it might be. The goal is to work on discovering what these lessons are.

When negative feelings surround you regarding your past, focus on the lesson learned. Maybe you would have never learned that lesson without the mistake. And now that you’ve gained this wisdom you can avoid making that mistake again in the future.

You can take everything one step further and do more with the lessons you’ve learned. Perhaps you can raise awareness by telling others about your experience. If you can help others avoid the same mistakes, you’ll be doing something great for the world. It’ll also help you feel better about the situation. This is one of the main reasons I share my story of being a survivor of spousal abuse. If sharing my story just helps one woman regain her sense of self and her confidence, then it’s worth it to me to have gone through what I did to get here.

Depending on what you’ve gone through, there may be a mourning period associated with your situation, but you’ll eventually need to let it go. Since you know that nothing can change the past, letting go can prove to be very liberating.

When you let it all go, you learn to forgive yourself and forgive others. Forgiveness is such an important thing to promote in your life. It allows you to grow as a person and blossom forward to enjoy all that life has to offer. You weren’t meant to sit around mourning the past no matter how tragic it’s been for you.

How Resentment and Negative Thinking Hurt Your Self-Confidence

Whatever it takes, you need to do your best to avoid resentment and all negative emotions. Resentment is a poisonous emotion that can go out of control if you don’t deal with it.

You’ve probably heard of people who have had a falling out with a family member and resentment keeps them apart for the better part of their lives. Think about all the good times they’ve missed out on because of this bitterness! All that bitterness and negative emotion saps your confidence because instead of remembering the good parts of your relationships, you only remember the negative events.

When it comes down to it, sometimes you keep telling yourself you’re over it but the negative thinking keeps creeping back into your life. You need to fully realize that the only person you’re hurting is yourself. When you beat yourself up over something that you can’t change all you’re really doing is beating down your own self-confidence and self-esteem.

For example, let’s say you’ve hurt someone’s feelings. You may think about this day and night until you can’t take it anymore, and you have to seek this person out to apologize. The person might not even remember what happened, or they may just accept your apology. The point is you suffered with negative thoughts until you sought forgiveness.

Another example is what happens when someone hurts you. If you’ve been abused, you know how that can drain not just your self-confidence but your whole sense of who you are. Even after it stops, it takes awhile (sometimes a lot longer than awhile) for you to stop seeing the whole world through the lens of abuse. Since your confidence is in the gutter, you question your choices, and worse, you question the motives of everyone around you. Every single person you come into contact with has to pass the “Will he/she hurt me” test and every single decision you make has to pass the “What if I make a mistake again” test.

Until you can let that go, you will have trouble moving forward.

The bottom line is that there’s no need to cause yourself any more suffering than you already have just because you made a mistake. Once you accept that you have learned from your past, you can let it go and learn to trust yourself to make better choices. With every piece of the past you send on its way, you’ll regain another piece of your self-confidence.

Taking Care of Yourself with Quiet Time

Helena — Mon, 07 May 2012 03:40:32 +0000

You’ve probably experienced various times in your life when you felt tired, overloaded, and out of gas. You realized you were just getting up and going through the required motions each day, only to start all over again the next morning. When you feel this way, luckily, there are many things you can do to take care of yourself and bring yourself back to life.

Why not take care of yourself by using some quiet time to re-charge your physical and emotional states?

Planning to have some silence in your life every day or two can be a great way to renew and refresh. Because noise is all around you all the time, you’ve probably become accustomed to the assault on your ears; however, it can still suck away your energy and negatively affect you.

Try these self-care strategies to use the positive effects of peace and quiet to re-invigorate your life:

Plan a time for silence. Thirty minutes is an effective amount of tranquility to experience each day. If you’re unsure whether you can deal with peace and quiet for 30 minutes at a time, consider starting out with just 15 minutes.

Ponder how you’ll spend your quiet time. Activities like browsing a recipe book, reading, or scanning the morning newspaper are appropriate ways to spend your time sans noise.

Consider trying some type of meditative experience during your tranquil times. Sitting and thinking about something that brings you joy is a wonderful way to use your noiseless moments. Recalling the last time you spent with your best friend or thinking about what you want to improve within yourself are wonderful ways to spend your episodes of silence.

Engage in muscle relaxation to truly get in touch with your ability to relax during your quiet times. Progressive relaxation, where you alternate between tensing and relaxing each of the muscle groups will dovetail nicely with your episodes of peace.

Enjoy the silence. Concentrate on the lack of noise. Notice even the smallest sounds of the refrigerator gurgling or the tree branches brushing lightly against the side of the house. Notice the sounds of nature, whether it’s wind, rain, or frogs and birds chattering to one another. Perhaps these are sounds you wouldn’t normally hear but now you can.

Increase the duration of your episodes of silence, as you wish. When you begin making it a point to experience silence daily, you’ll be surprised how much you enjoy it. You’ll realize you’ve been craving the wonderful feelings of renewal that only silence can bring.

Feel free to detach further from your music and the television. Being still with just yourself, your thoughts, reading, or quiet hobbies will refresh you in ways that other types of rest will not.

Carve some moments out of your schedule on a regular basis to experience the joys and rejuvenating nature of silence. Infusing periods of quiet time into your everyday life can bring feelings of calm, patience, and rest. You’ll also decrease your distress and increase your well-being, joy, and comfort. Go ahead and take some quiet time now. You’ll be amazed.

Taking Care of Yourself By Saying No To Others

Helena — Sun, 06 May 2012 03:37:22 +0000

Do you find it difficult to be assertive and say “no” to people’s requests? Since there just aren’t enough hours in the day to appease everyone, the art of saying “no” without hurting the feelings of others is an important skill to acquire.

One of the best ways of taking care of yourself is to be assertive and say no when you really don’t want to do something. Do you recall in my earlier article on how being assertive helps to build yourself confidence I said that when you are assertive you have the freedom to really ask for what you want? Well, it’s not just about asking for what you want — being assertive also allows you to say no to the things you don’t want too.

Now, before you think I’m advocating being mean, you should realize that just because you are saying “no” doesn’t mean you have to be rude about it. There are plenty of polite, yet assertive, ways you can tell people “no” when you need to.

Here are some ways you can take care of yourself by saying say “no” without being rude or impolite:

Say “no” to now, but “yes” to later. “I’m very busy at the moment. Perhaps someone else can help you. If not, I’ll have time later in the week to help you out.”

This is a great way to say “no.” It’s assertive, but also positive and kind. You let the person know there’s no way you can do what they’re asking at the moment. However, you give them the option to ask someone else or wait until you have the time to help out.

Say “no” unless something changes. “I’m very flattered that you’ve asked me. However, I’m not currently in a position where I can take on this responsibility. Could we talk about this at another time if there’s a change in my circumstances?”

This statement says “no” while still being very polite. You let them know how thrilled you are that they’ve asked you, but then you’re honest about how little time you have to commit to their request.

The definitive “No.” “I hate to disappoint you, but I’m not able to do this. I’m afraid I’ll overextend myself.”

With this statement, you express regret for disappointing the person, yet you still let them know that this is a solid “no.” No doubt they’ll understand you don’t want to overextend yourself, which makes them sympathetic to the plight you’re in as well.

This answer is very kind and polite. Plus, it allows them to understand where you’re coming from.

Say “no” to attending an event. “I had a great time before, but I won’t be able to make it this time since I’m already over-scheduled.”

Sometimes you may get asked to an event you don’t want to attend or that you just don’t have the time for. You don’t have to feel obligated to go. This statement lets the person know you’ve had a great time in the past, yet you’re over-scheduled or busy this time around.

Say “no” to loaning money. “I really wish I could but I make it my practice not to loan money to friends and family.”

Money is one thing that many people ask for from their friends and family. It’s a difficult situation since you don’t want to insult them or hurt their feelings. This statement is a nice way to be assertive and say “no” while still being kind.

You let them know that you wish you could loan them the money, yet you go on to explain why you won’t. You make it clear that this is the practice you have for everyone, and you’re not just saying “no” to him or her personally.

For some reason, parents often feel the need to always say “yes.” Whether it’s working at a PTA function, helping in your child’s classroom, or going to yet another classmate’s birthday party, you may feel like these are things you must fit into your already busy schedule.

However, you can take control of your family’s calendar – and your sanity – by saying “no” to some offers that come your way.

Saying “no” in a pleasant tone of voice won’t lose any friends; but it will allow you to set boundaries for what you are and are not willing to do. This should not only help you build up your self-confidence, but will also alert others that taking care of yourself is important to you and you respect yourself enough to assert your right to say “no” when the situation calls for it.

Image Credit: Image: Stuart Miles / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Four Ways to Acknowledge Your Inner Beauty and Boost Your Self-Esteem

Helena — Sat, 05 May 2012 03:36:40 +0000

It seems that these days almost everyone is focused on physical beauty. Someone’s intelligence, personality, or status is all perceived by their outward appearance. So where does inner beauty fit in?

We all have inner beauty, however, whether or not we’re aware of it or utilize it is up to us. Inner beauty is something that’s profoundly more important than physical beauty. It’s something that you must nurture and cherish, and something that plays a huge role in building up your sense of self-esteem.

When you develop your inner beauty, your self-confidence seems to miraculously improve as well!

Here are some strategies that can help you discover and develop your inner beauty:

1. Make an “I Love Me” list. This is a powerful tool to help you discover your inner beauty. Write down all of your good qualities that don’t relate to something physical. Are you sweet? Sincere? Love animals and children? All these attributes and a host of others relate to your inner beauty.

The process of writing out your strengths gives you tangible evidence of your great inner qualities that you might not have even been aware of. When you see all these qualities written out in black and white, you’ll also give your sense of self-esteem a big boost.

2. Surround yourself with those whose inner qualities you admire. Of course, they may also have physical beauty, but the reason you’re drawn to them is because they’re caring, loving, gentle, or otherwise admirable because of their inner qualities.

When you surround yourself with these kinds of people, your own inner beauty tends to shine through also. They may even point out your inner beauty to you. People like this look beyond the outer shell and focus on what’s important inside.

3. Practice cultivating your inner beauty. Most of us know how to take care of our physical beauty: we get our nails and hair done, we stay in shape, buy new clothes, and so on. But taking care of the inside isn’t something we always pay enough attention to.

Remember, when you discover and improve your inner beauty, physical beauty follows. Think about a time when you’ve met someone and weren’t attracted to their physical beauty at first glance, but once you got to know them and saw their inner beauty, they began to be more physically attractive as well.

What can you do to bring out your inner beauty? It’s simple: Be real! Be authentic! Be yourself! Show beautiful qualities like compassion, love, and patience, and practice them daily.

4. Avoid negative people and talk. Gossip and negative comments about others breeds more negativity within you. Instead, focus on the good in people. Rather than saying an off-color comment about someone’s appearance, put a positive spin and focus on a point of his or her inner beauty.

This will help you cultivate and develop your own inner beauty, too. Focusing on the positive qualities of others brings out the best in you, too!You’ll also find that you’ll attract people because they enjoy being around you. Attracting loving and caring friends is just icing on the cake!

Final Thoughts on Your Inner Beauty

Your inner beauty is unique to you. Unfortunately though, many of us don’t know how to celebrate and honor it. Unleash your inner beauty to the world! Don’t be afraid of it.

Use these tips to show everyone your inner beauty and you’ll gain an amazing and unshakeable self-confidence!

Photo Credits:
Moonflower – AnitaPatterson / MorgueFile.com
Butterfly – Mensatic / MorgueFile.com

Build Your Confidence By Discovering Happiness in Your Life

Helena — Fri, 04 May 2012 03:50:45 +0000

Happiness is a choice. It sounds so simple, and yet it’s true.

You can choose to let your circumstances get you down or you can choose to be happy no matter what challenges life brings.

Happiness is already within each of us and we are born to be naturally happy! For example, have you ever noticed how infectious a baby’s giggle is? So why is it that, as we get older, we forget where to find happiness within ourselves and, instead, allow outside forces to determine our happiness?

Self-confidence is also a choice. Sure it takes some work to build, but you and only you can choose to be confident, or not.

Just as with happiness…

You can choose to let your circumstances sap your confidence or you can choose to be self-confident and face whatever challenges life brings.

You can use these strategies to create happiness in your own life:

Find something you love to do and do it. Do you have a lifelong dream or desire? If so, start working toward it. Taking baby steps towards a dream or goal will help you feel like you’re accomplishing something.

You’ll find drive and determination to reach that goal when it’s something you love to do. And when you love what you’re doing you’ll not only be happier, you’ll be more confident in doing it.

When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Cliché, I know, however it’s so true. You don’t have to let life’s troubles and problems get you down.

Yes, there will always be troubles because no one is perfect, but you can choose your reaction to situations. Look at the positive side of things and work hard to see the good in people and circumstances.

Every time you choose to react positively to a negative situation, you’re also building up your confidence. Every time you do this, it gets easier and easier because you’ve done it before and you know you can do it now.

Find your purpose and put your talents to use! You have natural gifts and talents to help you achieve your purpose, so use your gifts effectively! One reason so many people are unhappy is that they’re not doing what they’re called to do with their God-given talents. Each and every one of us has a purpose in life.

Think about all the things you have to be thankful for. Often you get so caught up in what’s wrong with your life that you forget to look at what’s right and good. Take a step back and reflect on your life. How far have you come from, say, six months ago?

Make a gratitude journal and write down five things you are grateful for every day. Seeing a list of all you have, and all you have accomplished will fuel your happiness and your confidence at the same time. Because how could you not be happy and confident in yourself when you can see all you have done?

When you’re feeling down, don’t wallow in your sorrows alone; do something about it.

Some days no matter how hard you try, you need a little help to be happy. So when you do feel down, call a friend who you know is positive and cheerful. Talk about your feelings and listen to their advice.

Depression is a real problem, and all too often, people allow themselves to go deeper and deeper into self-pity or depression because they think it has to be that way. The truth is, you don’t have to be sad and you shouldn’t be. You can decide to be happy. You just have to make up your minds to do so.

Using a journal to record your thoughts and feelings can also help when you’re feeling down. Often you’ll find that just getting your feelings down on paper will allow you to work through them, helping you to feel better about yourself and your beautiful life!

If you’ve been prone to look at life negatively, then you’ll have to put some effort into seeing and choosing happiness. But don’t let that stop you from being happy! You, too, can learn to be happy.

Practice the steps above and train your mind to focus intensely on the positives. When you feel a negative thought coming on, or your mind gravitates toward the negative, learn to recognize it, stop it in its tracks, and then start thinking happier thoughts.
As you start to choose happiness, you will find that your self-confidence and self-esteem also being to grow.

Make the conscious choice to be happy today!

Photo Credit: Grafixar/MorgueFile.com

3 Tips For Making Lifestyle Changes With Confidence

Helena — Thu, 03 May 2012 03:48:55 +0000

It’s no secret that we humans don’t like change. If you did a survey, you’d most likely find that at least 90 out of 100 people would tell you that they do not enjoy change.

Change is not easy because humans are creatures of habit. After all, they don’t call it a “comfort zone” for nothing. You want to continue living in a certain routine once you have conditioned your body and mind to function in that way. This makes you feel comfortable with your surroundings and decisions. Even when it’s not really comfortable any more, it’s still easier to stick with the familiar than it is to initiate a lifestyle change.

But change is necessary in order for us to grow. So even if you don’t like change, you need to find ways to make healthy lifestyle changes easier. There are also tools you can use to welcome change into your life, even when you’re entering new uncharted territory.

Here are 3 ways to make lifestyle changes easier for you:

1. Make a list of pros and cons.

If you know you need to make changes in your life and you aren’t looking forward to doing so, you can do a simple exercise that will make the change easier to handle.

Take a sheet of paper, and on one side write “Pros,” and on the other write, “Cons.” On the corresponding side you will write the pros and the cons of the change so you can see what the benefits and drawbacks might be.

As you do this exercise, you may realize that the very thing holding you back is the fear of change itself.

Seeing the pros and cons will help you realize how it will benefit you to make the change. This allows you to warm up to the thought that change actually might actually be a good idea!

2. Make your changes gradually.

Another way to make lifestyle changes easier is to work up to them. It’s a shock to the system when you try to make wholesale changes overnight. Take small steps toward making the changes permanent.

For instance, if the healthy lifestyle changes that you need to make center around quitting smoking you may not want to quit cold turkey; instead you can work up to it. I did this, and even though it took awhile I finally quit and am happy to say I’ve been smoke free for almost seven years now.

3. Use Affirmations.

Another way to help make lifestyle changes easier is to use positive affirmations. Positive affirmations are statements that encapsulate the way you would ideally think or behave.

You can either create your own affirmations or look for statements that others have created. The key is that you find an affirmation that speaks to you.

Words are powerful and, when you repeat the same words over time, they continue to resonate through your mind. When the words are positive you’ll find that you can tap into the positive thought anytime or anywhere.

If you’re worried about making a healthy lifestyle change, you don’t have to be. Instead, you can remind yourself why you want to change by saying something like, “Change is healthy. I am excited to experience new opportunities.”

When you repeat an affirmation often enough, it becomes your response to the negative energy and anxiety you feel. You become more confident in dealing with change when you know you can replace the negative thoughts with positive ones as soon as they occur.

Some lifestyle changes are harder than others to become accustomed to even when we desire to make the changes. Many times just one of these tips will help you to implement the change, while other times you may need to use a variety of methods to feel at ease about the change.

Use the “pro and con” method to see the benefits. Then bring the change in gradually while you accept it through your affirmations. These techniques will help you feel confident so you can enjoy the benefits of your new lifestyle.

For more affirmations feel free to connect with me on either Facebook or Twitter. I post new tips and affirmations every day for building your confidence and living your best life.

How Your Diet and Exercise Habits Help Build Self-Confidence

Helena — Wed, 02 May 2012 01:53:20 +0000

I’m fresh off my morning cardio class, and thinking about how diet and exercise affect self-confidence. When you look at the big picture of your life, it’s easy to see the relationship, but when we’re just starting out and looking for ways to boost our confidence levels, it may not seem obvious how what you eat and how you move affect it.

I mentioned in an earlier article that one of the baby steps you can take to grow your self-confidence is to get regular exercise. And, as we all know (whether we want to admit it or not) diet and exercise go hand in hand. In fact, diet is probably more important in the big scheme of things because as Tosca Reno points out in the Eat Clean Diet Recharged, the formula for a healthy, beautiful body is a combination of 10 percent genetics, 10 percent training, and a whopping 80 percent nutrition. You really are what you eat, and what you eat can affect how self-confident you are.

Here are a few example of how this works:

Body Image and Confidence: Exercising won’t necessarily result in the perfect body, but it does tend to give you a sense that you are being proactive about your health; you’re doing the right thing and working toward getting fit. Recognizing this — even if you can’t get rid of that muffin top — can help you feel more confident in yourself.

Your Food Affects Your Mood: The food you eat can affect your mood, sources say, which in turn affects your confidence. Low blood sugar can cause you to feel grouchy and easily annoyed, and a diet high in sugar may contribute to depression (the ultimate in low confidence!). Lean protein combined with complex carbohydrates is a winning combination.

Endorphins and Confidence: Exercise stimulates your body to produce endorphins, which are brain chemicals that help you feel good. These substances play a role in relieving depression and improving mood. When you feel good about yourself, your confidence level also improves.

Your Energy Level and Confidence: If you’re struggling with self-confidence, feeling sluggish doesn’t help. Exercise and a healthy diet are key elements to feeling energetic and, ultimately, confident.

Vitamins and Minerals: We’ve already established that your confidence is affected by how you look and feel. Getting the right vitamins and minerals is important for things like teeth, skin, and hair. When these aspects of your appearance are healthy and at their optimum, it helps you feel better about yourself.

Specifically, some vitamins and minerals are directly implicated in improving mood and, consequently, confidence. These include B-complex vitamins and Vitamin D. In fact, fat-soluble Vitamin D is sometimes used by medical professionals to treat Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). When you are getting the right amount of key vitamins and minerals, you are much more likely to feel confident in yourself.

When your energy and confidence levels are up due to exercise and diet, you are much more likely to be more productive in work, school, and relationships. This becomes a positive cycle since increased productivity boosts your confidence even more.

If you begin to exercise and eat healthfully, you may find yourself not only looking better; you may also experience weight loss, better muscle tone, and healthier skin. Looking in the mirror and liking what you see can go a long way toward boosting your confidence!

Note: This article is for information purposes only and is not meant to be taken as medical advice. Before starting any diet, exercise plan, or supplement use please check with your doctor or other medical professional.

Photo Credit: Image: photostock / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Five Ways Being More Assertive Helps Build Your Self-Confidence

Helena — Tue, 24 Apr 2012 17:36:05 +0000

If you’re not a very self-confident person, chances are you’re also not very assertive. That’s because the two go hand-in-hand. According to the World English Dictionary and assertive person is someone who is “confident and direct in claiming one’s rights or putting forward one’s views.”

See what I mean?

The good news is, you can learn to be more assertive, and as you learn to claim your rights and make your views known you will also be building up your self-confidence.

Want some examples? Here are five ways that being more assertive can help you become more self-confident at the same time.

1. Being assertive increases your feelings of self-worth.

One of the by-products of low self-confidence is a feeling of low self-esteem. You don’t think your opinions or thoughts are worth sharing because with your low self-esteem you don’t see how anyone could care about what you have to say.

Learning to be more assertive gives you the ability to speak up and share what’s on your mind. When you can do that, you’ll start to feel more confident as well.

2. Being more assertive will improve your relationships.

This is a biggie, and if you get this it can totally change your life. Low self-confidence can really take a toll on your relationships. Here’s what I mean…

It’s one thing to be considerate of the other people in your life, but it’s not healthy for you to always be so passive that you let friends, family, and significant others walk all over you. You know what I mean — always giving in to what ever other people want, not speaking up and saying what you want, or answering with either “I don’t know” or “whatever you want is fine with me” when someone asks your opinion.

That’s what happens when you lack the confidence to speak up for yourself. (I know, because I did it for years and still have days where I consciously have to tell myself that it’s okay to say what I want and that I don’t have to agree with everyone else all the time.)

The other thing that happens is you put a lot of stress on your relationships by doing this because you end up stuffing all your emotions down and just going along with whatever is suggested.

When you learn to be assertive and speak up about what you want in your relationships, you not only gain more confidence, you also have much more equal and stable relationships where all parties involved are willing and able to make their feelings known without having to hid anything or pretend to be anything other than themselves.

3. Being more assertive gives you the freedom to ask for what you want.

This is an extension of the point above…

In terms of building your self-confidence, this is pure gold. So many times there are things you want to say but don’t have the confidence to put them out there. Maybe you worry about the other person’s feelings (and don’t get me wrong — I’m not saying you should deliberately be insensitive or willing to hurt someone just to get your point across). Maybe you worry that they’ll laugh at you or belittle your opinions somehow. (This was always my biggie, and something I still struggle with.)

Whatever your reason for hesitating is, when you can be more assertive you will find the confidence to just go ahead and ask for what you want, and deal with the feedback. Do it just once and you will feel just how freeing it is.

The other side effect to this is that not only will you have more confidence in yourself, but others will have more confidence in you too.

When you are able to say honestly and openly how you feel, you allow the people around you to interact honestly and openly with you too. It’s freeing for them as well because they will no longer have to try and guess how you are feeling because you now have the confidence to tell them exactly how you feel.

4. Being more assertive will make you feel more content.

The more you are able to ask for what you want out of your life, the better the chance that you will get it. If you ask, and receive what you really want you can’t help but feel more content with your life. And when you are happy with how things are going, then you’ll feel more confident about it too.

5. Being more assertive gives you the confidence to help others.

You probably didn’t set out to be someone other people follow, but I can tell you from experience that it is a real boost to your own self-confidence to hear someone say “If you can do it, then I can do it too.”

Confidence breeds confidence, and when you allow your own confidence to shine through and be an inspiration for someone else who is trying to build or re-build their self-confidence up, it will come back to you as well.

As someone who has always struggled with confidence issues, it still amazes me just how much of a confidence boost you can get from just having the courage to ask for what you want. You don’t have to be aggressive in your new-found assertiveness — calm confidence will get the job done just as well, if not better. And even if you don’t get what you want every time, you will still see an increase in your self-esteem from just making the effort to assert yourself.

If you do just one thing every day to be more assertive, you will soon notice a difference in the way you see yourself and in the way others see you and interact with you.