Creating Lena

Does Your Self-Care Plan Have These Three Things?

Helena — Fri, 03 Feb 2012 16:52:31 +0000

Challenge Update: It’s Day 1 of my 60 Day Challenge to get fit and ready for having professional pictures taken. Today’s fitness activity was 30 minutes of yoga to start the day. I’ve decided that starting Monday I will be going back to my old wellness centre and starting daily swimming sessions again. And now for today’s actual post…

It’s officially Day 1 of my sixty day challenge of getting fit and ready to have new photos taken. On the surface, it may seem a bit of a shallow goal. After all, there’s no way I’ll get completely fit in sixty days. But I will make a good start at it, and that’s what the underlying theme of the challenge is — to create a habit of self-care that will last long after this challenge is finished and the pictures are posted on the site.

Self-care is one thing that we women don’t do enough of. Until it’s too late, and you’re forced to really take care of yourself – body, mind, and soul – because of some kind of traumatic experience. In my case it was a heart attack. So it’s more than a little fitting that I’m doing this challenge during Heart Month. When I had my first heart attack, self-care was something that had long fallen by the wayside for me. I had to learn a whole new way of taking care of myself and that meant creating a self-care plan that I could follow for the rest of my life.

Everyone’s self-care plan will be different but there are three basic parts that every good plan should have.

1. It should give you a foundation for setting goals and objectives you want to achieve.

One of the reasons I think we fail to create a self-care plan for ourselves is that we don’t know, or perhaps have lost sight of, our purpose in life. We get so busy taking care of everyone else in our lives that we forget that we have a purpose of our own aside from our duties as a wife, mother, and caregiver.

When you start creating your self-care plan, you will give yourself the foundation you need to reconnect with your life purpose.

2. It should provide inspiration for achieving those goals.

There should be inspiration built into your self-care plan. Motivational sayings, quotes, affirmations, and all play a role in keeping you inspired and motivated to achieve the goals you set for yourself.

A good way to keep your goals and inspirations in front of you is to create a vision board. By putting images of your goals, as well as pictures and sayings of quotes and affirmations on a poster-board or a bulletin board. You can create a slideshow on your computer if you don’t have a private place to post it at home. You can also collect images of things that inspire you and store them online on sites such as Pinterest.

3. It should have a means of tracking your progress.

If you don’t know what you’ve done, you don’t know when you’re done. Or something like that.

When you make a plan and set out to achieve a goal, you have to have some way of measuring your progress.

Journals are an excellent way of tracking your progress. You can have more than one. In fact, you can have one for each goal if you want. I have an exercise journal, a food journal, a morning pages journal (if you’ve read The Artist’s Way you’ll know what these are), a business journal, and my heavy-duty nighttime journal that I use every night before I go to sleep.

If you’re not shy, you can record your progress on a blog. You’ll find that if you do choose to share your self-care plans you become an inspiration to other women, and that in turn keeps you inspired to do even more.

However you choose to do it, your self-care plan needs to have some structure to it. Basing it on the three parts outlined here will give you a good start for taking care of your whole self. And when you take care of your self you are better able to live your passions, achieve your goals, and take care of the people who depend on you too.

Do you have any self-care rituals? Please share in the comments section below.

(Photo Credit: Dreamstime.com)

I’m Getting Fit – A Sixty Day Challenge

Helena — Fri, 03 Feb 2012 05:05:19 +0000

Well, this ought to be interesting. I just had a cool conversation with my accountability partner, and we decided that sixty days from today – April 2, 2012 – we would go and get new pictures taken for business purposes. I haven’t had a professional picture done in years because I’ve always been convinced that cameras don’t like me.

So, in the interests of giving myself the best possible advantage in front of that camera I’m embarking on a 60 day challenge to get fit, lose some weight and inches, and really step up my game when it comes to taking care of myself.

I am getting better at taking care of myself, but still catch myself sliding back toward old habits when things get a little stressful. It’s just so easy to get sucked into staying inside my comfort zone even when I know I need to be pushing my boundaries and learning how to get comfortable with being uncomfortable.

Over the next two months, I’ll be blogging about building up not only my fitness levels, but my confidence as well. I’ve dedicated this year to rebuilding my self-esteem, something that has been lacking in my life for the last several years. Between divorce and illness it’s so easy to lose track of yourself and to just let go of everything.

Self-care is an important part of getting back to myself and stepping up my game. I got off to a slow start in January, but I think that was meant to be, to show me what exactly I was supposed to be doing this year. I had an idea but it wasn’t developed enough at the time for me to hit the ground with the speed and confidence I had intended.

If you’d like to follow along, or maybe even join me, stay tuned. Besides talking about just getting fit, I’ll also be sharing on topics such as building your self-confidence, creating self-care rituals, and talking about the mountain of self help books I’ve lined up to read this year.

Because when you get right down to it, it’s not just about getting fit to have a picture taken. It’s about become a better me … in body, mind AND spirit.

I look forward to sharing the journey with you.

Four Ways Journaling Helps You Get To Know Yourself

Helena — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 04:44:45 +0000

I’ve been doing a lot of journaling lately. It’s a great way to get to know yourself, and to get clarity on what you want out of life. It can also help you sort out your feelings about the way things are going in your life, and figure out what you want to do about them.

You can even have different journals that serve different purposes in your life. For example, you could have a food journal if you’re trying to lose weight. You could also have a gratitude journal, where you write down things you are grateful for every day. You could use a journal for planning your business, or dealing with your relationships. Or you could have just one where you write your life — your goals and dreams, successes and failures and how you feel about each one.

Whatever information you decide to record in your journal, it will help you get to know yourself. Here are four ways journaling can help you:

1. Journaling gives you a safe place to process the events in your life.

When you are in the midst of an event, good or bad, it’s hard to process the feelings and emotions you have in the moment. Recording it in your journal gives you time to reflect and to describe not only the event itself, but any feelings you have about what took place. You may find that when you are writing you remember more details that you didn’t catch while they were happening, and this can give you more insight into your actions and reactions.
This works almost like visualization in writing. You see the event unfolding again in your words instead of in pictures.

2. Journaling gives you the time and space to understand your feelings.

During the processing of events, you can be as clinical and dispassionate as you want to. It’s as if you are recording the actions of someone outside yourself, from the viewpoint of an objective bystander.

Taking your journaling one step further, your writing can allow you the time and space you need to figure you how you feel about what happened. Reflecting on how you feel about events in your life is a great way to get to know yourself.

So often in life we are required to keep our feelings and emotions to ourselves. If we stuff them down too deep it can lead to self-destructive behaviors such as drug abuse and overeating. A journal gives you a place to let everything out and be completely honest with yourself about how you feel.

3. Journaling helps you find your why.

As you get to know yourself through your journal pages, you will start to find more clarity on what your life’s purpose and passions are. Writing your life gives you the opportunity to explore different events and scenarios and to find out what feels right to you.

The more you write, the more you will find yourself understand why you feel the way you do about certain things, and why you take the actions you do to deal with certain situations.

Journaling gives you a deeper understanding of why you do what you do, and what you should be doing with your life.

4. Journaling gives you a way to track your progress over time.

One of the things I noticed in my journal the other day was that I haven’t really moved very far from where I was a few years ago. I have grown in small ways, but not enough (at least to my mind) to make a big difference. I wouldn’t have known that if I hadn’t been recording my progress over time.

Going back and reading over old journal entries gives you the chance to see patterns in your life. You will notice how you deal with certain situations, either positively or negatively, and can work to change the reactions that you don’t like.

Reading your old entries can also highlight the progress you have made, the goals you have achieved, and the ones that need changing in order to fit you as you are now.

Create a Ritual For Journaling

Getting to know yourself through the pages of your journal can be a daunting experience if you’ve never done it before. It means being honest and open with yourself. You can say anything you want in your journal knowing that it is a safe outlet that is yours and yours alone. This is your time to spend with yourself, and you might find it easier to write if you create a ritual around your journaling time.

My favorite time to journal is in the early morning when no one else is up yet. I get up and put the coffee on, and then settle in to write before I even think of doing anything else.

Journaling is best done when you have time where you can be alone and undisturbed. Turn off the computer, the cell phone, and anything else that might distract you from your thoughts.

Set the mood for self-reflection with candles, incense, or even some relaxing music.

Make yourself a cup of herbal tea, take out your special pen and your journal and prepare to write.

Above all, remember that this is your time to get to know yourself. There is no right or wrong way to do it. Whatever feels right to you in the moment is what you should do.

Do you journal? I’d love to hear your thoughts on journaling and creating rituals for it. Please leave your comments below:

(Photo Credit: Stock Xchng/Ynsle)

Taking Care of Yourself: Keeping a Record of Your Journey

Starting My New Year Right

Helena — Mon, 02 Jan 2012 04:58:17 +0000

Happy New Year!

I hope your 2012 is off to a great start, and that you are ready to achieve all the goals you have set for yourself. I have two pages of goals to work on throughout the year — and a big piece of poster board with them all written out where I can see them every day.

I am stepping up my game for the new year and taking my life and my business to the next level. It’s been a long time coming, and I’m feeling really excited and confident about the coming year.

While I have goals for all areas of my life, the most important ones for me this year are those that focus on getting myself healthy and fit. I want this to be the year that I lose weight (at least 60 pounds) and get fit enough to run in a 5k race and finish it.

You all know how much I love my baby steps, so break it all down my goals are:

1. Drop at least 1.5 to 2 lbs per week

2. Exercise at least 30 minutes every day

3. Practice clean eating

4. Work at getting at least 6 hours of sleep every night.

That’s probably not going to happen tonight since it’s almost midnight and I still have yet to post this. :) Yep, slow again.

Second on my list for starting the new year right is to focus on my writing and publishing this year. I always end up putting my own writing to the end of the list while I flit around from project to project, never really finishing anything. So last night I spent my New Year’s Eve creating a content plan and writing out exactly what I want to accomplish this year.

I’ll have more on that as the days progress. For now, I’ll leave it at that and just wish you a happy, healthy, and prosperous new year.

Thanks for being here!

Shades of Black and White

Helena — Thu, 10 Nov 2011 16:56:47 +0000

Taking a break from the writing tonight, I decided to play a little with some photos. We decided that on one wall of the living room we’d like to do a collection of my photos, only turned into black and white. So these are a few of the ones I’m thinking of using.

It’s Been a Crazy Day Here!

Helena — Thu, 10 Nov 2011 04:59:55 +0000

It’s been an awesome writing day here. So far I have about 3000 words of new “How To” guide written. But in the meantime I nearly missed a dentist appointment this morning, and almost forgot I had to write something for this space today too!

That’s what happens when I get involved in a project that really grabs me. I have a one-track mind until it’s done. It’s been kind of fun so far. I haven’t been this enthralled with a writing project since I finished my Master’s thesis oh so long ago.

So I don’t really have a lot to write about tonight since I’m still pretty wrapped up in the other project.

The one thing I will say though, and it relates to the series on self-confidence that I’ve been doing all week is that I have shocked myself with what I have stored up in my head.

The way things have flowed so smoothly, and being able to just write off the top of my head has really given me a boost of confidence that yes, I am still a good writer and can write more than a 500 word article in one go.

So that’s it for me today. I just wanted to touch base so that I don’t lose the momentum of posting something everyday. I promise I’ll write something a little more useful tomorrow!

Have an awesome day/evening wherever you are in the world.

Thanks for being here. :)

No related posts.

3 Tips for Being Your Own Best Cheerleader

Helena — Wed, 09 Nov 2011 04:18:39 +0000

Author’s Note: I’m in the process of simplifying my web presence, so am closing down some of my sites until I decide what to do with them. This post original appeared on the now-defunct blog “Outside My Comfort Zone”.

One of the first steps you can take in moving outside the comfort zone is to be your own best fan and cheerleader. In the quest for change (and that’s really what going beyond your comfort zone is) believing in yourself is essential.

So what can you do when your level of self-belief needs a little topping up?

Face Your Fears

Being your own best fan means that you owe it to yourself to face your fears and move beyond them. Dealing with issues such as fear of failure and fear of change will give you the biggest boost of self-confidence and self-belief you will ever know. And in addition to the increase in self-confidence, you may also find that what you were afraid of wasn’t all that bad.

“When you face your fear, most of the time you will discover that it was not really such a big threat after all. We all need some form of deeply rooted, powerful motivation — it empowers us to overcome obstacles so we can live our dreams.” ~Les Brown

Talk Nice To Yourself

Would you call your best friend an idiot or a dummy on a regular basis? Would they let you? Chances are not, on both counts. So why do you do it to yourself?

We feed ourselves a diet of negative self-talk such as “I’m an idiot,” or “I’m such a klutz” or my favorite “I’m too stupid to live” and then wonder why we lack self-confidence and self-belief.

Being your own best fan means learning to talk nicely to yourself. And I can tell you from experience that this can be one of the biggest steps outside your comfort zone you will ever take. But oh, how much better you will feel, and how much for full your self-belief tank will be when you tell yourself you are intelligent, beautiful, the best at what you do, and totally deserving of a good life… AND BELIEVE IT!

And if you don’t believe it at first? Keep talking nice to yourself until you do believe it.

“We all have voices in our heads which talks to us on an almost constant basis. Our voices give us messages continually, and what they say to us affects us.” ~Juliene Berk

You Are A Work In Progress

Yes, it’s true. You are a work in progress. I am a work in progress. The super-model on the magazine cover is a work in progress. There isn’t one person on this planet that is 100 percent perfect in all areas of their life.

If you think you need to work on something in your life, it’s not the end of the world. It’s certainly no reason to stop believing in yourself. In fact, it can be a great source of self-belief to take a class and learn something new or polish up an old skill that’s fallen into disuse. And don’t forget to be your own best cheerleader when you accomplish it!

Regardless of when you stopped believing in yourself, or why it happened, it’s not too late to start again. Chances are your self-belief tank just needs a little topping up. You’ll open up a whole new world of experiences and possibilities beyond your comfort zone when you do.

I believe you can do it. Do you?

Photo Credit: Stock Xchange

16 Confidence-Boosting Quotes

Helena — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 04:14:34 +0000

In my cardio class this morning, the instructor said that one of the things she’s going to do every morning is read a “quote of the day” to us. I thought it was a great idea, and since we all know how much I love quotes, here are a few I’ve collected on the topic of self-confidence.

We are each gifted in a unique and important way. It is our privilege and our adventure to discover our own special light. ~ Mary Dunbar
It’s not who you are that holds you back, it’s who you think you’re not. ~ Author Unknown
You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love & affection. ~ Buddha
Too many people overvalue what they are not and undervalue what they are. ~ Malcolm S. Forbes
Yours is the energy that makes your world. There are no limitations to the self except those you believe in. ~ Jane Roberts
Make the most of yourself, for that is all there is of you. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
Your chances of success in any undertaking can always be measured by your belief in yourself. ~ Robert Collier
Of all the judgments we pass in life, none is more important than the judgment we pass on ourselves. ~ Nathaniel Branden

People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in their true beauty is revealed only if there is light from within. ~ Elisabeth Kübler-Ross
Once we believe in ourselves, we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight, or any experience that reveals the human spirit. ~ E. E. Cummings
Nothing splendid has ever been achieved except by those who dared believe that something inside of them was superior to circumstance. ~ Bruce Barton
Laugh at yourself, but don’t ever aim your doubt at yourself. Be bold. When you embark for strange places, don’t leave any of yourself safely on shore. Have the nerve to go into unexplored territory. ~ Alan Alda
Other people’s opinion of you does not have to become your reality. ~ Les Brown
To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself. ~ Thich Nhat Hanh
The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are. ~ Joseph Campbell
The strongest single factor in acquiring abundance is self-esteem: believing you can do it, believing you deserve it, believing you will get it. ~ Jerry Gillies

There are so many great quotes about self-confidence and believing in yourself. These are just a few of the ones I’ve collected. Please feel free to share your favorites in the comments section.

Still Shaking in Your Shoes? Five More Self-Confidence Boosters You Can Use

Helena — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 23:27:16 +0000

There are so many different steps you can take to improve your self-confidence. Each one will impact you differently, and because we are all unique some may work better for you than others. Here are five more tips that you can choose from the next time you find yourself feeling a little insecure:

1. Pay attention to your posture.

I’m sure you haven’t heard that since you were a kid, but it really is true. Sitting (or standing) up straight really does make a difference.

Slumping shoulders and a tendency to look down tend to give people a negative impression of you. To create a positive, confident impression keep your head up, make eye contact, and stand up straight. How you carry yourself really does say a lot about how you feel about yourself.

2. Be giving.

Always keep in mind the saying that “what goes around, comes around.” When you give to others and help them succeed, you will also feel better about yourself. I know, speaking for myself, that the best parts of my day come from helping someone else. Whether it’s through the words that I write, or something more technical like helping them install a new blog or set up a new website, knowing that what I’ve done makes a difference to someone else makes me smile and feel like I’m doing something worthwhile.

At the end of the day it’s that feeling that you’ve made a difference in someone else’s life that really gives a huge boost to your own sense of confidence and well-being.

3. Give compliments to others.

This goes along with giving your time and energy. When you find and acknowledge the good in other people you’ll also feel better about yourself. Seeing the best in others also brings out the best in you.

4. Try something new.

When you stretch your mind or move out of your comfort zone, it makes you feel alive. Adding new experiences to your life changes your energy and even if it’s something you’ll never do again, just having the courage to try something new adds to your stores of confidence. You know that if you’ve expanded your boundaries once, you can do it again and that’s priceless.

5. Speak up.

I saved the hardest one for last. (Well, it’s the hardest for me at least.) Learning to speak your mind and be heard is one of the hardest things that people with self-confidence issues have to deal with. But if you can master it, not only will you find that people will see you as confident, you’ll also be more confident in your own abilities.

So even when you’re shaking in your boots, find a way to speak up and contribute to the conversations around you.

Living as an insecure person in a world that prizes self-confidence is not fun. The more steps you can take to increase your own sense of self-confidence, the more easily you will be able to achieve success, and accept that you are worthy of that success. Try these tips and the ones from the first article in this series, and let me know how it goes. You can leave me a comment here or drop me a message via email. Either way, I’m here to help and cheer you on!

Five Baby Steps For Growing Self-Confidence Even When You’re Shaking in Your Shoes

Helena — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 04:02:40 +0000

Is there anyone who wouldn’t like to be more self-confident? It’s definitely one of the things I struggle with on a daily basis is being more self-confident. Whether it’s from having buck teeth when I was little, or being the youngest in my class all the way through school, or a by-product of being abused in two marriages (slow-learner?) I’m not sure. Most likely it’s a combination of all of it, and that’s okay because it means that every day is a new challenge not to let my insecurities get the better of me. It’s one reason why I try to write something and post it every day, even when I’m sure it’s not very good. And the funny thing about that … it’s usually the articles I think are really bad that get the most comments and seem to help others the most. Funny how that works.

But, you’re not here to listen to me whine. And so instead of whining about how little self-confidence I have most days, I have for you a few of the tips I use to make it look like I’m the most confident person in the world, even when I’m shaking in my boots.

1. Develop an “attitude of gratitude.”

Being grateful creates a sense of peace within that in turn creates confidence.

I start every day by writing down five things I’m grateful for. By doing this I find that that the day starts with a completely different energy than if I had got out of bed and started grumbling about what I don’t have or what I have to do today. Try it, and let me know how it works for you.

2. Dress for success.

Sounds trite, I know. But I’m sure it’s equally as trite (and also as true) that when you look good, you feel good. If you dress to look your best, you’ll feel better and this will translate into more self-confidence. Even if your wardrobe is full of jeans and t-shirts like mine, choosing your best fitting jeans and your nicest t-shirt will make you feel better than if you dress in baggy sweats, even if no one sees them but you.

3. When in a group setting, sit near the front.

I never thought much about this when I was in school, but people with self-confidence issues tend to hide out in the back of the room and hope no one notices them. You can, and will, instantly appear more confident just by choosing to sit near the front of the room.

4. Walk faster. And keep your head up!

People who walk at a brisk pace appear more confident because they look like they know where they’re going. Even if you’re not sure where you’re headed, walking faster and holding your head up will help you feel more confident while you figure it out.

5. Get regular exercise.

You knew I was going to get that in here somehow, didn’t you? There’s nothing that exudes self-confidence like a well-toned body. People who are fit not only look healthy, they also have more energy. And they radiate a better, more healthy energy than people who are out of shape and overweight.

I can tell you from my own experience that even though I’ve only lost about 30 pounds so far, I feel so much better and more confident. Even though I have a long way to go, every little bit helps.

Good health and energy along with the compliments they bring are great self-confidence boosters. And I am grateful for every single one of those compliments when they come my way.

Now, lest you think I’m being flippant and taking the subject of self-confidence lightly… I’m not. I have worked every day of my life to get what little self-confidence I have, and I will keep working at it a little each day. It’s not something that happens overnight… I wish… but by using the tips that resonate with you, it is possible to take a lifetime of hiding in the background and turn it around. If I can do it, I know you can do it even better!

(And if you want more tips stay tuned… this is part one of a series.)